When Bullying happens it often sets a restless feeling, rapid heartbeats, follow by anxiety And in places such as Schools, Work, in Public and at Home, your body wants action, your mind too! Defend me! Protect me! Do something or get away! All natural responses but which is the best choice?? What circumstances fit?? Is one reaction better than the other??
Obviously the choices are to be passive and ignore it, assertion using words to point out the problem and say what you appreciate and then theirs the third option to become aggressive and fight! Don’t forget the mixtue of them to discover an outcome for future reference better known as a “bag of tricks” as in a collection of positive words of defense!
Now that’s out of the way, lets see Why instincts come mostly from circumstances that don’t always fit. If we act on instincts alone which is a pattern of behavior by the way, we not only become predictable but it proves that reflection and decision making goes against our natural responses. We do not go through life always aggressive, always passive nor always assertive.
Still however, if no reflection take place in thinking of what to do next time or chose to be who we want, believe, value, respect, or appreciate who we thought we are as individuals or characterize then perhaps its better to let time be your best friend!
In Schools especially among youths, time is short and peer-pressure make it shorter leaving very little room to breathe much-less apply thought of the who, what, where, how, and more importantly Why!
Show me a fight and I will show you a video camera among youths! So who’s the promoter of the awaited sequel?? Isn’t their a real friend around to explain a better outcome other than, “oh-look-a-fight, quick record it!” Or is the friend actually a jealous foe that has no imagination.
To imagine how different the friendship has changed because; number one you won’t or refuse to see their purpose that led-up to fight until maybe later or number two that your friend who’s not experiencing anxiety is rejecting reflection by imagining a mixture of assertion and time to discover why or how it all began and help to resolve the problem peacefully.
How to imagine a better outcome is simple than you may think. You maybe saying to yourself then why is fighting happening so much. Its because of inequalities. Not in a sense of discrimination. Its a sense of how someone has something, says something, does something, owns something, sees something, acts on something or does something in the complete opposite.
All of which defines jealousy, envy, creating rumors, and the lack of self-esteem and if anything the “fire-starter” or perpetrator gets the nerve to run their mouth to serve their ego carelessly with disregard to put themselves in their shoes or simply refuse to treat others how you want to treated.
Remember the cleaver friend will not give away their disguise so easily by his or her motive and risk trust that will eventually surface as some other friend will get around to explaining to you how it all went down and the hurt is worse than the fight!
Now that you know when, how, why, and so what is their to do to rid or prevent more fights right? Well I did provide several clues thus far like a mixture of reactions to conflict and having an imagination to discover the best outcome by using time. Well all that’s left is defend when they all fail or …. my favorite.
Be confident! It shows very well on you and you will be remembered as leaders! Especially when you’ve done nothing wrong or had nothing to do with it. If so accept your fault responsibly with an apology and.. this idea is between me and the reader…
Once you secreatly apologize prove to the promoter or promoters that a fight will take place but your secret is a, “play-fight” that you agreed to provide a “Show” on your terms with the idea that the so-called friends are gradually friends No-More! Taadaaah!